Mandisa, Kim and the power of forgiveness.

          This letter is from K-LIGHT listener Kim.  (It’s used with her permission)

          I’m writing to you regarding Mandisa. Every girl needs a hero and Mandisa is mine. At our home the word Mandisa is always precluded with the words my girl. Now, I believe that Jesus is my true and only hero, but we all need an earthly sign that Jesus is still sending his light to us. For me that light is My Girl Mandasa.

          When I saw her audition for American Idol and I saw the cruelty of Simon Cowell I thought this poor woman is so talented, but she is gonna run away, I mean why would she put herself through such humiliation? Then right there on national TV her inner light, the light of her strength, the light of her Savior blazed on for all to see and she forgave him. She not only personally forgave him, but she forgave him in the name of her Savior, in the name of Jesus. I got chills when I saw her and heard her words.

          You see, I needed to hear those words, I needed that reminder. I was just coming out of two suicide attempts when I first saw Mandisa, when I first heard her sing. Such a beautiful woman, so full of joy, so full of light. My first attempt was really just a loud cry for help, my second was and all out need to die and I almost did. I was in a coma for days and my family was living with the fear that I may not survive. When I woke up and saw my husband, saw the hurt in his eyes, saw my daughters, two of them pregnant and needing their mom, I was riddled with guilt. I hated myself and i prayed God would take me. How would I, or how could I ever make up for the hurt I had caused? I really just wanted to die. I had so much to look forward too, more babies on the way and yet my self loathing was getting in the way of it all. And then there she was, this beautiful woman who was so strong, so out spoken and yet so gentle. If she could forgive Mr. Cowell and Christ could forgive him then what was I doing hanging onto all this hurt and hate. I prayed right then and there for God to take away my hate and allow me to forgive those who hurt me and moreover forgive myself. That is when the healing started, the healing for me, for my family.

          We are going through a really hard time right now. My husband and I are apart, out kids and grand babies confused, and there she is again, My Girl Mandisa, letting me know I am an overcomer. I heard the interview with her that was on K-LIGHT, and I hear her music every morning, reminding me that Christ is there leading me, lighting my way and forgiving my missteps even before I cry out. I just want to say thank you Rick, thank you K-LIGHT and thank you My Girl Mandisa for being my beacon and reminding me I am not alone, I am loved and I am forgiven. Though I cry every morning on my way to work when I hear Overcomer it isn’t because I am sad it is because I am reminded this too shall pass and I will overcome.